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Archive for the ‘Domestic Drudgery’ Category
Monday, July 20th, 2009
Yes, there is a load of shit, or shall I say manure or compost or just call it what it is, crap, filling the entire back of my truck. We are depositing compost on our 177 Italian cypress trees and all of our shrubs and ground cover since it is scorching hot and all the moisture is being sucked out of the dirt. Speaking of scorching heat, we have to go and work in it right now. Why do Ryan and I always pick the hottest days in the year to do the hardest jobs?
Kip is coming over to assist Ryan and since they have to work and I have it a lot easier t I told them I will make them dinner. Little do they know I am just heating up a bunch of meatballs and rice that Ryan’s Grandmother made yesterday. Hey, I’m on a diet so that is all they get. Then again, after looking at compost all day the meatballs might look a bit gross to them. I’ll call the dish “Madison cow patties” 🙂
Posted in Domestic Drudgery | Comments Off on Load of Shit and Meatballs
Wednesday, July 1st, 2009
Yep, we have a new branch of criminals in our neighborhood. They like to burrow holes in the ground and destroy drip systems and now they have crossed the line. Kip’s new BMW 535 has been attacked. They have chewed through his wiring and cost him $650 in damages. In their defense he did park right next to one of their burrows so he was sort of asking for it but whatever. I called the County Agriculture department and we have had to take matters into our own hands. The county provided us with deadly oatmeal to feed to these feisty critters. They had the nerve to invade our 413 Compound and now they will pay the price with their lives. I don’t want to kill the little guys but I have no choice. They look pretty tough, they may not go down so easy…
Posted in Domestic Drudgery, Family & Friends | Comments Off on New gang in town
Wednesday, June 24th, 2009
I am such a bitch. My household assistant, Cathy, took my dogs for a walk and the mighty hunter Kaylee brought into the house a lizard and its tail fell off and Kaylee had the tailless lizard in her mouth. Cathy was screaming like someone had died, the tail was never found and I had to capture the lizard and put it outside. Meanwhile my sister heard the calamity since she was on the phone with me when Cathy began to scream her head off and my phone died before I could tell my sister what was happening. Of course she thought the worst with my crazy dogs and she called Kip and Ryan at the office. They jumped in the car and sped towards home to assist me with whatever disaster they all imagined was occurring. I finally called my sister back and snapped at her for calling the office prematurely, there is the bitch part, called Kip and Ryan before they got here and told them to go back and then got mad at my dog for having a lizard in her mouth and then proceeded to get mad at Cathy for making such a commotion over a little lizard. Geez, the whole world was falling apart over a little lizard tail. I called the sis back and apologized. I pet the dog and I thanked Ryan and Kip for reacting so quickly. I am still annoyed at Cathy but she is deathly afraid of lizards so I need to get over that. I told you, the porn business isn’t that glamorous. The only tail I get around here is one from a fucking lizard!
Posted in Domestic Drudgery, Pet Stories | Comments Off on I’m a Bitch and the Lizard gets no tail and either do I!
Monday, May 4th, 2009
My life is going great. I have been working on my lawn like crazy. I am in a battle with the gophers. I think I am winning the war. I admit I was a weak soldier on Sunday. My little dog Kaylee cornered a gopher on the side of the house. I don’t know how she got the little guy out of his hole. She didn’t hurt him though. She licked it. The gopher was soaking wet. I couldn’t kill it. I put it on a shovel and walked out in the National Forest and chucked the little dude. He will probably make his way back to my house and then I’ll have the professional gopher killer do the deed. The gopher was too cute to kill.
Moving on to a better topic. I have been having sex dreams. I am fucking the neighbor, my dentist, strangers, and a whole bunch of people from my past. I wake up and my jaw is sore. Am I giving head in my dreams as well? My pussy isn’t sore so that is a good sign. I wake up so horny from my dreams that I have to roll over and grab under the bottom of my bed and grab my vibrator. I would have sex with my husband if he wasn’t already gone. He gets up at 6:00 AM and heads off to the office and to the gym. So a horny girl has to do what she has to do….
Posted in Domestic Drudgery, Pet Stories | Comments Off on Licks and Dick
Tuesday, September 16th, 2008
I am all moved! Yeah! I have never seen so much bubble wrap and shrink wrap, boxes and moving blankets in my life. I don’t know if we were moving or doing a sex scene with a plastic theme. We went through $600 in just supplies but all our shit is moved. The new office looks great. We bought a big house so that everyone could work comfortably. I mentioned it before but I am just so stoked about having a pool and spa in the backyard. We have a ping pong table and a playstation with a 50 inch plasma to play on. The crew now has more toys to play with than I do at home. My toys usually come with batteries, though. Hee hee.
Oh yeah, about being senile. I completely spaced on not writing in my diary. I am getting old I tell ya. Sorry. I suck. I am also bad about writing in my diary. I will be better now. I have no more moving or home repair excuses.
We start shooting again next weekend. We gave ourselves 2 weeks off to handle the big move but I will be back to licking hot pussies in no time. Until then, enjoy all the new updates from my trip to Mammoth Lakes over Labor Day weekend. I hope you like the outdoorsy look.
Posted in Domestic Drudgery | Comments Off on Senelity and Bubble wrap
Monday, August 4th, 2008
Geez Louise I am pooped. I just sanded and scrubbed and cleaned and planted and I am already sick of this new house. I am so dirty right now and I don’t mean it in a way that I usually do. I have been sanding down a wood cutting table and cleaning out cupboards and scrubbing walls and moulding and stuff for days on end. We spent this weekend replanting the back yard in over 100 degree weather. I am so excited to move our business into this new house but even with a crew to help us osut Ryan and I have been doing at least 12 to 14 hour days at this place. It is 5,000 square feet on a 1.5 acre lot and it was built in 1983. There was no remodeling done since it was built so I am working with some pretty dated stuff. Total 80’s wallpaper had to come down and lots of paint and re-staining and appliances ordered. It should be rather nice when we are done but wow, is it a project. I feel like we are doing a show on HGTV or something. Speaking of shows we are shooting this weekend so I need to get my nails done before then because they are looking pretty scary right about now. I promise to glam it up before then. For the next few days it is grime and slime and working like a dog. I would much more prefer just doing it doggy-style for you!
Posted in Domestic Drudgery | Comments Off on Still Running around like a dirty chicken with my head cut off!
Monday, July 14th, 2008
I have been a busy beaver. And I mean busy. My beaver hasn’t been very busy, though. I have not shot in weeks but I did buy a new house to move all my wonderful employees to. I got sick and tired of leasing an office building with nosey neighbors, not enough space and lately way too noisy to even shoot in. I think it will make for a much more enjoyable working environment for everyone.
With that said it was very hectic doing the purchase and now it is even crazier trying to paint, install new carpet, get new phone lines and organize all the biz shit we need to operate our company. We still have 3 more weeks of work before I can do the big move. Ryan is tearing down a wall as I am writing this. He has worked on the new house 7 days a week for the last 2 weeks. I am surprised we could even get updates posted we have all been so busy. No matter what, the team always pulls through and the updates get done. That is why they deserve a nice house to work in with a pool!
I am sorry for not writing. I realize it only takes a moment and I have been a very bad web girl. Spank me!
I hope everyone is enjoying their summer. I can’t believe my luck in having to move and fix up a house in 105 degree weather. Shoot me, please. Enough of my bitching, I should be happy that I am able to take advantage of the housing market slump and get a big house for small amount. There are so many people that are losing their homes. I am sad for them and I do hope all this turns around quickly and the economy gets strong again. I am eternally grateful for my members that have been with me a long time. I couldn’t do it without you. For those of you that are new, I welcome you and promise that rain or shine, this site gets brand new content almost every day. I may get busy but I am never too busy to fulfill your fantasies. E-mail me and tell me yours…….
Posted in Domestic Drudgery, Miscellaneous | Comments Off on Where the hell have I been?!!!
Tuesday, March 4th, 2008
Where the fuck did this week go? Geez, a lot has happened in a short time. We did a few shoots, we have gone to a few parties and yep, I got a new pig. Guinea pig that is. I bought him for Ryan’s little cousin’s 7th birthday but I fell in love so now he’s mine. Nah nah nah nah nah. OK, I’m not that mean. I bought another one for the little tike a few days later. That one I didn’t bond with at all. My new baby is named Bear and I love him. He looks just like a little miniature grizzley bear. No he really does. He is dark brown with a little light brown face with a long nose. My other Guinea pig seems to love him as well so we have a happy home here.
There is contruction going on in my home again which makes me crazy. Damn closets! We ordered them last December and now they are installing them. I have clothes everywhere and strange men walking through my house. 2 of them have already caught me naked, oh well. I was getting dressed so what is a girl to do? We shoot again this weekend and I have a special Easter surprise for you. You will want to be a part of my Easter egg hunt.
Also, hope you liked my nun shoot. I am going straight to hell for that one. Even the guy working on the photos to put them up experienced hellish weather and bad events happening to him and we don’t think it was a coincidence. OK, we might be dramatizing it a little but you do have to admit we could have crossed the line a bit. I had fun and if religious people can’t laugh at themselves then screw them. I laugh at myself all the time. God has a sense of humor I am sure of it!
Posted in Domestic Drudgery, Personal Photo & Video Shoots, Pet Stories | Comments Off on HOLY SHIT
Sunday, January 28th, 2007
Hey, hey, it’s me Kelly and I’m feeling well again. I even shot on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday of this past week. Sorry I didn’t get a chance to check in with you but I had a ton of work to do to make-up for being sick. The shoots went well and the girls were very nasty, just how I like them!
We are leaving tomorrow for Texas to check out my new house. I bought it in December and I haven’t ever seen it in person. You just can’t beat the prices of new homes inTexas. I am not moving there, just an investment. I love Texas, though. You know what they say, everything is big in Texas.
There is so much going on that I don’t even know where to begin. I’ve got some video footage of all of us in Vegas for the AVN show. I hope you like it. I want to start doing more “In the life of Kelly” style videos. I like masturbating for you and fucking on camera but I would love to share more of my personal life with you. I am very much an open book – please read me 🙂
OK, that was a bit hokey but you know what I mean. I have to take my dog to the beach this afternoon and then run by a few stores today before leaving. I also still need to pack for Texas. I’ll only be gone a few days. I just need to check out the house and get an alarm system installed. I don’t want any kids breaking in and partying at my house. Listen to me, I sound like an old lady. Hey, I’m almost 40, I guess it’s acceptable. Wish me luck in Texas and I’ll be taking photos and video while I’m there. I do need to inaugurate the house, if you know what I mean. Sex in Texas is on my agenda.
Love Ya and I’ll check in on Thursday when I get back.
Posted in Domestic Drudgery, Personal Photo & Video Shoots, Pet Stories, Travel & Adventures | Comments Off on New and Improved!
Thursday, December 28th, 2006
Wheh, I barely survived the holidays. The Company Christmas party on the 21st was a lot of work but turned out fabulous. I needed to run around and get all the last minute stuff and I ended up getting stuck at home with a broken 5-inch water pipe flooding out my property. I also had to work and shop and wrap gifts and pack to be at the hotel on time. I actually did it with Ryan’s help and the party started on time. I had drinks and appetizers and nice gifts for everyone, a nice dinner and even a show to attend. Ryan and I had so much fun. I think the party finally ended at about 4:00 AM. The hotel was not too happy with us. I then had barely a day and a half to prepare for my big Christmas party at my home. 15 people came and I had a formal sit down dinner with all the trimmings. Ryan was my chef extraordinaire and he got all 12 dishes out on table at one time. He deserves an award for that!
Of course Santa aka Ryan spoiled me again this year. I got luggage, crystal, and much more than I deserved. I also finally got a clean house. My marble floor cleaner left here at 3:00 PM on Saturday the 23rd and he was supposed to finish by end of day on the 22nd. I had to leave at that same time for a different family party so I didn’t get to start to even put my house back together until the morning of the 24th let alone do all the glassware and linens and grocery shopping. Luckily my sister came to stay with me and she and I worked side by side for about 13 hours straight that day. I tell ya, holidays aren’t supposed to be this hard. I don’t think anyone even appreciates all the work I do so next year I’m doing things a lot different. For one I am catering my family Christmas party and I am ordering in pizza and sodas for my company Christmas party 🙂
Enough about me, I hope your holidays went well and that you got everything you wanted. I hope you enjoyed my Christmas video. I aim to please.
I am getting ready to shoot for the next few days. I am also gearing up for Las Vegas on the 9th. The New Year is going to start off with a bang, that’s for sure. I need to go take a shower now and get my nails and toes done and then go shopping for some outfits to shoot in for me and the girls so I’ll check in later. Speaking of banging, I might have to do a little finger banging in the shower. Santa just can’t give me enough orgasms!
Posted in Domestic Drudgery, Family & Friends, Holidays & Personal Events | Comments Off on I survived the holidays, how ’bout you?
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