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Archive for the ‘feelings and thoughts’ Category

Happy Memorial Day

Monday, May 28th, 2018


It is that time of year again where we celebrate those that have served our country and again where I implore you to do what you can for wounded warriors or my favorite charity,

As I have said many times in the past, it is not a bad idea to just donate $10 to one of the many charities helping veterans. I know for a lot of us that are fortunate enough to have the day off, we like to spend it with family and friends and firing up the grill and maybe enjoying a few beers, but we wouldn’t be enjoying this holiday had it not been for so many that have sacrificed so much and those that continue to do so.

So no need to dig deep, just give a little. And our freedom comes at a very grave cost, I appreciate it every day, I love you all and today let us set aside our political divide and just honor and appreciate our brave military personnel. Thank you!

Respiratory Problems and Reflections on the Past

Saturday, March 10th, 2018

Happy to say I am finally over the flu so the respiratory issues are not my own, they are of my poor little 11 year old Kaylee Girl. My precious pup who is hyper and crazy and chases critters all day long suddenly started breathing heavy, stopped drinking water and eating. I am in total shock because we went on a 2 mile walk in the morning, which we do almost daily, and then later that day she just changed instantly. I took her to the emergency vet Thursday night and they sent her home after doing some x-rays and simple blood work for a mere $750, insane pricing, right? Thank god for pet insurance, I highly recommend Trupanion. So on Friday she was worse and so I went back and then was referred to a specialist and drove for an hour and then 5 more hours of sitting and waiting and $1600 worth of more tests and still no answers. I have to wait until Wednesday for all the tests to come back, meanwhile I am giving her appetite stimulants and antibiotics and a medicine for her brachial tubes and watching her every moment to make sure she is breathing so haven’t slept a lot the last 2 nights.


So now that I got to complain about my puppy drama, let me tell you what has been going on with me. So I hit 50 this past August and lately I am have been checking the Internet on people from high school. I don’t know if it is a mid-life crisis or what but I have been thinking about the past, even listening to music from the 80’s and absolutely loving it. I wanted to reach out to some of my old friends, some of them know what I do for a living, others don’t so I didn’t know if it would be prudent to do so. I was looking up old boyfriends and one in particular I couldn’t find anything on, I knew he had become a police officer but that was about it. So this is where it gets weird…I am sitting and waiting at the vet, no shower, in some skanky yoga pants and no makeup, hair in a shitty ass bun and covered in dog hair, real sexy Kelly Madison style, NOT! In walks the first guy I ever had sex with, basically my first love that I dated for 3 years with his dog, WTF! I instantly knew it was him, we haven’t seen each other since the late 80’s. I was sitting there panicked with no sleep worried about my dog and then slammed right into the past and reminded of all the fun memories and I have to admit, it was a wonderful respite from the fear and worry. We laughed, we talked, we hugged and it was so nice to see him.


Again, I don’t know if it is because I have gotten older, but I have this desire to connect with all my old friends. I never felt this way before, I was too busy with my life and career, and quite honestly, didn’t care to be judged. Now that I am older I don’t fear what others think of me, they either have to accept me as I am or don’t respond to me. I’ll let you know how this goes, until then I will be driving around my dog to the vet while playing my 80’s music.


AVN, the terrible flue, and Happy V Day!

Wednesday, February 14th, 2018


Wow, AVN was amazing, 15 noms, 2 wins, had a fabulous time with the crew only to come home with one of the deadliest flu viruses known to mankind, seriously. My good friend Brandi Love got rushed to the emergency room while in Vegas so we didn’t get to hang out as planned. Right after we got home Sunday evening I wasn’t feeling well myself. Then it hit, 2 weeks later and I am still trying to feel normal. I don’t know who patient Zero is but they must have infected hundreds of people in Vegas. So many people came home ill. I am normally a very hyper person, can’t sit still for long and always busy. I became a person I don’t even recognize. I am still lethargic but getting around again.

On a lighter note, Yay! Andy our director won for best Soundtrack and we won for our DVD “Dysfunctional” for best Taboo Video. We were only in Vegas for 48 hours but I think that was more than enough for our crew, we were all happy to be back and coming home with a couple of awards made it that much sweeter!


So Today is Valentine’s Day. The day of lovers and secret admirers and chocolate, mmm, chocolate. I don’t have much planned for the day, just trying to get better and doing business as usual. I may just curl up on the couch with a great bottle of wine and enjoy the Winter Olympics and order take in. I’m not much for the crowds at the restaurants and after 20 years I think I know he loves me…


Happy Holidays and a Fabulous New Year!

Sunday, December 31st, 2017


If you are like me, the holidays are never a time to sit around the tree and sip cocoa, instead it is a mad dash to purchase presents, attend the company party, pay all the year end bills and try to tie everything up, travel here and there, decorate and get glitter all over the place, including all over my dogs, only to find myself a bit burnt out and tired. I caught a cold from one of the nieces or nephews (little petri dishes that they are) during all the holiday get togethers so here I am at home in my robe ringing in the New Year with my dogs at my feet and me at my computer, by the way, I cannot get the glitter off my dog Tommy so at least he looks festive. I admit, I have a wonderful life, a wonderful career, great people in my life, overall great health and I am blessed beyond words in so many ways. I just wish I could slow the holidays down a bit and actually get to enjoy them, really be in the moment rather than running from place to place. I am a holiday human do’er not a human being.

So there you go, that is my New Year’s resolution, I know I have said it many times before but practice makes perfect. Maybe this year, 2018, will be the year I slow down and smell the roses. I am actually fortunate enough to have roses growing in my back yard and I rarely take the time to even look at them. They are beautiful and I take them for granted, just like I do my precious life.

So Happy New Year Everyone, may we all have the ability to push forward and succeed in 2018 and still take the time to breath it all in.


Loads of Videos, loss, and things to look forward to…

Sunday, October 15th, 2017

I am so happy and proud of everyone on our Team Kelly Madison Media, props to our directors and especially the talent for making our newest updates so great. It is also good to finally have all the sites combined into one giant site for one low price allowing us to share everything with everybody.

I hope all the members are enjoying all the new and free content from our other sites and we are updating with lots of busty models in exclusive hardcore action.

Check out the gorgeous Doc MILF Julia Ann and her sexual healing scene shot by Ivory

Newest Pornfidelity Trailer starring Amia Miley aka “the body” from Ryan Madison


And our newest installment from the “Matchmaker” series from Andy Zane


Hot horny teen action on from our newest director, Fumigalli

As you can see we have all had our hands, mouths, uh, other parts quite full lately. But all kidding aside, the past few weeks have been difficult on an emotional level. We lost someone close to us at the tragedy in Las Vegas and attended his funeral last Thursday. I almost lost my precious office manager Wendy as she had just walked into the Mandalay hotel as the shooter began to attack. I am so grateful that she is well, yet my heart is saddened by all those we lost, and it reminds me that tomorrow is not promised to us, we must make of today what we can. Kisses and hugs to all those suffering still from the hurricanes, the fires here in my hometown and the horrific fires and devastation in Napa County. Remember that donating now is needed more than ever. When the news dies down it doesn’t mean that the people affected are OK, for everyone this a long a difficult recovery and we need to come together as one Nation to support each other.

Getting back to business, we have a new programmer coming on board this week so we can make our jumbo site even better, along with multiple 4K high quality videos updated weekly! I love the direction we are going with the company and with everyone’s hard work and determination there’s no place but UP from here!


Hot August Days…

Sunday, August 20th, 2017


Hope you are all enjoying your long, hot summer. I have indeed enjoyed myself, I have been working and having a great time helping with all the new scenes and working with such great talent. I have been busy fixing up my new home and getting rather settled in for just being here not even 5 months. I even decided to throw myself a 50th Birthday party at my new home. I am doing a Country Fair themed party with carnival games and popcorn, cotton candy, ice cream sundae bar and churros, gourmet hot dogs, dj and dance floor, bartender and the best thing ever, a petting zoo! I have lots of friends and family with kids so I figured I would make it fun for everyone, but really I did the petting zoo for me! I love animals.


I can’t believe I am turning 50! I feel as though I am entering an entirely new phase of my life. My 20’s were about trying to find myself and fix my self, my 30’s I was still searching but had a pretty good idea of what I wanted and found the man of my dreams, my 40’s were about reaching goals in business and finance, and now my 50’s I want to expand our company as well as take some much needed time to take care of myself.


I have literally been on the go non stop for so many years and taking care of elderly parents, sick animals, employees, husband, 2 households, that even the idea of taking an entire day off and doing nothing seems absolutely absurd to me. I don’t want to entirely slow down or accomplish less, rather get as much as I can do, still striving towards my goals, but now do it without sacrificing myself in the process. I might even join a yoga class or something. My “beer and sex diet” may not be enough to carry me into my sixties, ha ha.


This isn’t about all the merchandise on Sale!

Sunday, May 28th, 2017


Really??? Why can’t companies out there find a way to celebrate and honor our former and current military with something other than a “Memorial Day Sale”? How about when everyone buys something this weekend a portion goes to helping our vets with their physical and mental issues and contributing to the rise in prescription drug addiction and homelessness instead of putting a few extra dollars into our already fat wallets? So you and I pay regular prices all weekend long and the discount money goes to these charities that support veterans:
Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America (IAVA)
Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society
Hope for the Warriors

Now that would be a Memorial Day Sale that I could celebrate with a hot dog and cold beer! What is that song, “All gave some, some gave all”. Really digest that. Some gave all? So join me in honoring our vets this weekend and give a helping hand, hire a vet, donate some cash, if you don’t have any, donate some time or at least spend your time on Social Networking to spread the word, that doesn’t cost a dime and does bring about awareness.

I donate every month to petsforvets and I have for years, today I added because the love and loyalty these pets provide are priceless. I’m a dog lover so those are easy for me, pick one you can get behind. It doesn’t take a lot, $10 a month? Nothing provides as much satisfaction and general warm feeling than giving appreciation to those who truly deserve it. So let’s appreciate our Vets : )

Clearly I have totally lost track of time…

Sunday, May 7th, 2017

Uh, where did 1/2 of March the entire month of April go? I really have no idea. Did we just skip through April and go from mid March right to May? Really seems like that is what happened. I do have proof that a month and 1/2 existed in my universe because I have a lot of updates on my site to prove me wrong, but as far as recalling that time, I am left unaware. So here is the proof that I existed:

Photo from update on March 19 – I like to call this my Business Cougar look, ha ha.

Photo from the update on March 24 – A little late for the holiday because the prior week’s update went up instead but I kind of did the update somewhat near St. Patty’s Day 😉

Photo from the update on 3/31 – I don’t know, it’s all Greek to me too.

Photo from the update on 4/17 – I’ve been a bad bad girl, go ahead and spanx me!

Photo from the update on 4/21 – Nasty 3-some with another girl named Kelly!

And last but not least a photo from the update on 4/28 – This one is for the boys out there with Mama issues, you will love this video you little perverts!

So see, there is proof I existed, I worked, I obviously had a great time, just wish I could remember it all. Maybe if I wasn’t so busy I could stop and smell the flowers, appreciate my life, and not feel like I’m already coming down with Alzheimer’s which isn’t funny because my father had it so that joke is a little close to home. So today I am going to take it easy, enjoy the cool rainy weather which is a blessing this time of year, drink some tea, read a book and take my dogs for a walk. I need to be a human being again and not just a human doing. So take my advice, stop and enjoy life before you get too old to remember any of it!

Travels, Trials, Tribulations, Titties and Toasting in the New Year!

Sunday, January 15th, 2017

Happy 2017, how is it going so far? Thus far I have returned home from my adventures in Baltimore and Washington DC, taken on many personal and business challenges, I have been shooting a ton of content for my personal site to make up for my down time when I had the cancer removed from my face, and of course, took a day off to celebrate the New Year, uh nope, I actually worked that day too!

2017 has taken off running. We hired new people and we are doing a lot of new and exciting shoots for all 3 of the sites. We are blessed to have the greatest crew and everyone always pulls together and makes it happen. We have been working on new sets, we actually even made a bed on the wall the other day, among other things. Business has been wonderful and this seems to be the perfect time to take on all these new ventures.

In regards to travel, going to Baltimore and DC was invigorating, adventurous and inspiring, especially DC.



I really enjoyed Baltimore and the suite we stayed in had the most amazing views. We got in pretty late on Friday night but just in time to go to a great bar and restaurant and order giant crab legs and do a whiskey tasting and watch a live band. It was freezing cold outside on Saturday but we could stay in our beautiful hotel room and look out on to the bay and enjoy the views of the entire city, order delicious room service and make love and then attended the football game on Sunday, Eagles vs Ravens. It was chilly but a hot pretzel did the trick. This is me sitting in the stadium in the cold waiting for my pretzel and beer.


We woke up on Monday and headed to DC and then attended the Panthers vs Redskins game, did I mention this was Ryan’s 40th Birthday trip and he LOVES football? OK, now that was a outdoor stadium night game that didn’t even begin until 9PM so a cold beer and pretzel wasn’t going to do the trick, hand warmers were the key to keeping warm that night.


This was our first trip to DC and we were both in aye. We toured the Capital, the White House, tried to see as many of the Smithsonian museums as we could, the Holocaust Museum, and walked up and down the Mall sightseeing like crazy and we couldn’t get enough. We want to go back in the Spring because there is so much to do and see and 3 1/2 days just isn’t enough. We stayed at the Hay Adams hotel and we were literally right across the street from the White House. There was a great bar we went to called Off the Record with political cartoons all over the walls. Congress wasn’t in session but you could just feel the vibe of the city and how exciting it must be to live there. Who knows, I have always wanted to do public service, hmmm, porn to politics? I don’t know if even Washington DC could handle my big mouth!



I was happy to be home and nothing says home more than a snuggly sweater in bed so that was my first shoot when I got home. Next I did a lingerie number with a super high waist, sort of my tribute to the 80’s. I also did a little Christmas shopping just in time which turned into a 3-some.




So that’s my end of December and beginning of January update. As I said, this New Year is busier than years prior but I love it. I feel energized and passionate about the future and I hope you do too. I have a feeling this isn’t going to be an easy year but I feel this is a year to reap the rewards of hard work, integrity, compassion and determined stubbornness of the past. So Happy New Year and my wish for you is that this year brings you the warmth of love and illuminates your life path towards a positive direction. My wish also for you and for myself is that the negativity and difficulties in life end and 2017 brings success and desired results.

Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays!

Sunday, December 25th, 2016


Don’t be a Grinch this year, even if things aren’t going your way or maybe you feel lonely or depressed this Christmas, take the time to reflect on what is good about your life, what you can change to make yourself happier this new year and give yourself the greatest gift you can, to love yourself. Now after visiting my website you might want to “love yourself” in a different kind of way, but on a serious note, really give yourself the gift that no one else can give you, self love and acceptance. That’s a big one for me this year too. So let’s all let our little “Grinch” hearts open up and not only love and care about those around us and those sharing our beautiful and delicate planet, but really be honest with yourself and how you can improve the most important relationship you have, the one you have with yourself.


So Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Hanukkah, and Happy Kwanzaa and wishing you all the true happiness you can find inside yourself this year.


Love You All!


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