OK, I’m searching on the Internet for an elliptical machine. I have to admit to you all that I hate going to the gym. I sweat like a pig and I don’t wear make-up or do my hair and my black work-out clothes are usually covered in beige and white dog hair thanks to my kids Trey and Kaylee. Basically what I am saying is that I am not presentable so I don’t like being in public. My breasts are obnoxiously huge and working out can be a bit embarrassing. I don’t like to be social at the gym and I don’t do the “classes” that they offer so what is a girl who is in her early 40’s to do? I am turning my extra bedroom into a home gym, that’s what!

We have a treadmill and now I am searching for an elliptical along with a sit-up bench that can double as a free weights bench. I have the balls, the work-out dvd’s and my beloved pilates dvd’s so I figure that is enough for now. This beer and sex diet is finally catching up with me and it is time to actually work out. I never really have before. I just sort of glided through because of my father’s good genes. Well, old man time has caught up with my lazy ass and I need to tone, tone, tone!

So getting back to my original discussion about searching for said such equipment, I had stumbled upon this little surprise on the world wide web. I discovered that they make fucking treadmills for dogs! Not cheap either. Almost $900 for the large and $600 for the smaller version. I guess I need to quit going to the park every day and walking my dogs in the fresh air and just leash them down on treadmills next to me while I sweat to the oldies. WTF?