Exactly a week ago we celebrated my sister Cheryl’s life and dispersed her ashes into the ocean. I began to plan her memorial several months ago but then I had brushed it aside, not wanting to explore those feelings I suppose and not wanting the finalization that her death was permanent. I hope that makes sense to those that have experienced similar feelings when it comes to losing a loved one, it is not quite denial, yet nowhere near acceptance. Kind of a dull sad cloud that follows you around. The one shining aspect of the entire memorial was that all of us “caregivers” were going to be together for our final goodbye to Cheryl. I rented a beautiful home in Seal Beach and the sisters all stayed there and our dear friend Jim and Derick stayed at a nearby hotel but were with us on Friday evening and all day Saturday. Everyone traveled from far away such as New York, Boise, and Las Vegas yet for me it was a small venture but I packed up my truck and Escalade full of things for the memorial, beach cruisers, food and drinks, and lots of booze. It really looked as if we were moving in for good with all the crap I brought. Oh well, at least no one was without and that is the way Cheryl would have wanted it.
We had a lovely day with only minor hiccups in my plans, but it went smoothly, there was much music and laughter and love. Derick sang for us and if you have ever had the pleasure of having a professional opera singer perform for you in a small space, then you know how powerful and marvelous that experience can be. It brought tears to my eyes each time he sang. My sisters couldn’t have been more loving or more accommodating, each one bringing a different aspect to Cheryl’s life, especially our so-called little sister Traci who was actually Cheryl’s best friend and we sort of adopted her. Jimmy, Cheryl’s best friend growing up was there as well, so again a sort of brother to me and Judi and his presence was like coming home, as he so aptly put it. We all got along beautifully and it was worth all the effort. Cheryl brought us all together and her energy lives on in each of us, drawing us ever closer and for that gift I am forever grateful.
