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Archive for the ‘Pet Stories’ Category

Mother’s Day, mother-less, new friends and fur babies

Monday, May 13th, 2013

I had a lovely Mother’s day yesterday. I spent it with Ryan’s family and it couldn’t have been more enjoyable, except for maybe the 3 loads of piping hot dog poo I had to pick up at the park that my fur babies gave me. How sweet of them, huh? It was so hot yesterday at the park I thought I was going to pass out. It is only May and it hit over 100 degrees and it was even hotter today! Today I stayed indoors and worked on my websites. I am not venturing outdoors until it gets dark. I’m a little vampire when it is hot out, I much prefer the cold winter. Boob sweat is NOOOO fun.

What is fun is shooting for Our shoot on Saturday was great. We worked with Ashley Graham. After our sexy threesome romp we hung out and I made us dinner and she had a few glasses of wine with me and she decided to spend the night. So I not only had a great scene for our business and for our fans but I also made a new friend – thanks Ashley!

Tomorrow is May 14th, my Mother’s birthday. If she were still alive she would be 82. I miss her. It sucks that Mother’s day always falls on or close to her birthday, kind of a double whammy of sadness. Even though she passed in 2001 I think of her every day. She had such a great sense of humor and was my biggest fan. She taught me so much and most importantly she taught me to be kind and thoughtful and open. She constantly read and was full of knowledge and shared everything with me that she learned. She introduced me to art, music, politics, science and cooking. She was a great cook.

Speaking of cooking, it is getting late. I started today on the computer around 9:30 AM and here it is 8:30PM. Time flies in here in my office. My neck hurts and my tummy is growling and my fur babies are hungry and so must be my husband. I’ll check in later this week with some uplifting info, kisses to you all!

Happy Cinco de Mayo

Sunday, May 5th, 2013

Just marinated some carne asada (gluten free, of course) and Ryan fired up the grill, gotta Bloody Maria (bloody mary made with Tequila) in my hand and I’m off to go dance around a sombrero! Love ya and have a great day…

Lots of important dates!

Monday, April 22nd, 2013

My wedding anniversary was on 4/13 and how does a couple who just completed their first ever Hardcore Porn “Get My Belt” do now? “We go to Disneyland!”, yep, and that’s just what we did. We checked into the Disney Grand California resort and spa on Saturday the 13th. First off, let me just say that a fancy name and a $600 room rate doesn’t mean shit at Disney. The room sucked. It was no better than a standard room at a Best Western if even that and should have cost no more than $100. Our balcony overlooked Downtown Disney but it wasn’t very impressive.Thank god we got out of there quick and dumped our bags off and headed to the park. We had a lot of fun. We ate giant turkey legs, ran around like a couple of kids and drank beer while waiting to get on the rides, (still couldn’t get over the fact we could drink at the California Adventure Park and there were tons of people with baby strollers just walking around with beers, very odd indeed). OK, so rides were awesome and the company was the best. Ryan and I haven’t spent quality time together just being goofy and laughing.

Right before getting on the ride the Tower of Terror

Mickey Ears and all…

I would have written about my grossly overpriced Disney vacation earlier but I had to leave early on Tuesday for a big photo shoot adventure out in the desert. We had 4 days of straight filming. At 45 I still don’t know how I do it. Just alone on Thursday I had 7 outfit changes which means 7 various shoots. The days began around 7AM and ended around 8PM and then I would make dinner for the crew and clean up. Oh yeah, I also brought my 3 dogs with me. They were soooo dirty when we got home. I was exhausted on Friday but it didn’t matter, those dogs got a bath and then I collapsed. Here we are being weird as usual. And “NO, that isn’t one of my dogs, it is an app on Ry’s phone!”

Probably THE most important date just happened yesterday, Trey’s 13th Birthday. He made it, that damn dog did it. My goal was to get my sickly dog to 13 and not only is he 13, he is cancer free, he is as healthy as a pup and I am now grateful for each day longer that he is on this planet with me. We had a little b-day celebration last night for him.

Since his radiation burn is still healing, he is continuing to wear t-shirts. I got him this one to wear yesterday to the vet and for his party.

I’m off to go to the office now and spray some termite stuff on our new country shack set. We brought in some old stumps and made a bed out of them and I don’t want any critters jumping out and getting into my new wood walls. That is actually what inspired last week’s update, “Bio hazzard blowjob”. I really did buy that mask and I am going to spray poison in my room but the guys thought the mask was cool so an idea was born. Hope you liked it, I really did. I love Ryan in that creepy old fashioned mask. It turned me on soooo much. I really am sick!

Seriously Lagging…

Tuesday, March 26th, 2013

I’m ashamed. I just glanced at the date I did my last blog and quite honestly, I suck. I have so much to tell you that I fear I will bore you with all that has been going on. It has been a while since we have been this busy here at Kelly Madison Media. We have been shooting our butts off creating tons of content for, shooting another production for Brazzers, and as always, shooting for plus now we will be updating every week instead of every other week so that adds a few more production days on to the month. I’ve also been working on my new Members section that is well overdue by about 5 years as well as completing our first hardcore/bondage inspired DVD entitled “Get My Belt” of which this is the 3rd installment, please view the free trailer. To prove to you how hard I’ve been working, check out my beautiful nails last Friday. I had to take my acrylics off because my nails kept breaking while putting up wood paneling in one of our sets. I think sanding, staining, and antiquing a table and set of chairs is what really did a doozy on my poor hands.

My husband also bought a rusty old troft and assured me it was water tight. I poured the water in and out it came all over my newly rustic table. I then used that foam stuff from Home Depot used in construction that fills up holes without wearing gloves. Not pretty but I am quite proud of my new Old West set with all our newly acquired antique tools and such. Kind of want to use that hammer on Ryan!

On a prettier note, we rented an old car and shot up in LA and in Orange 2 weeks ago. We did 2 different scenes and Ryan and I both fell in love with the old Cadillac, and so did the doggies. After returning home we went for a joy ride with the kids. I think I see an old Cadillac in my future very soon…

I’ve had 3 updates posted on my site since last I checked in as well as a behind the scenes update from all the activity in the month of February. Here’s a sample of what’s gone up. “Titty Trecking” “Spa-gasm” and “February BTS”. Can you tell which is which? : )

To speak the obvious, I’m dog tired. In fact, the whole fam is tired. These are a few photos I snapped with my phone this past Sunday morning.

We all got up at 7AM but everyone went back to sleep by 10:30AM. We didn’t rest for long, it was off to the vet for mani/pedis and anal glands and then off to the park and then gluten free grocery shopping for the week.

Hot Days and Hot Dogs and Hot Sex

Tuesday, March 12th, 2013

Couldn’t believe my luck last month with such a beautiful and warm day to be able to shoot outside. Got this pic from that hot ass day in February and finally got up the free trailer on my website, entitled “heat wave”. The rest of the days weren’t so great but I can’t complain about March so far. Warm days and cool nights make me really appreciate where I live. Bless the Gods of So Cal and the weather bestowed upon us!

Sad news, my dog Trey got sick again with aspiration pneumonia last week. He got something past that windpipe, or lack thereof, and both lungs were affected this time. Whatever got down there must not have been that big because only after a day of being on antibiotics and using the Nebulizer on him 3 times a day he seems almost perfect. He just wanted me spend another 1K on him. This dog will go down in history as the most expensive dog ever. Oh he’s worth it, just look at him.

OK, now for the Hot Sex part of the story. My husband who is over worked, I mean just check out’s newest update, was working on the computer all day on Saturday. We just didn’t have the time to do an actual shoot with lights and our camera guys and he had a golf tournament at 6AM the next morning so I offered to just make him dinner and let him shoot me with his little camera while doing so and then I would give him a hand job and then have sex with him in our bed. Real life, I suppose. It was fun and easy and he got dinner and I got sex and we all went to bed happy happy : )

“wow, an actual rear shot, that never happens with me!”

AVN, Dog Drama, and doing the nasty…

Saturday, February 2nd, 2013

Wow, I really suck. I have not even shared a single photo from AVN with you guys as of yet. OK, I’ll quit being a LAZY ass and get these posted. First, let me say that going to Vegas with just the girls was the BEST idea I ever had. My girls are easy as fuck to hang with. So much fun, no drama, no having to wait on the dudes or having to behave while in Vegas. Yeah baby.

As I said, myy girls are awesome and they drove in to Vegas late Friday night while I was shooting porn. Mama’s got to work. I got on a plane early Saturday morning and ran into one of the guys from We Fresh Mints on my plane that had made a rap a few years ago for our porfidelity site. If you haven’t heard it, it is awesome. He said that he and his partner have a new rap for me, I’m dying to hear it. We hung out at the airport pick-up area both waiting for our rides. I loved meeting him in person.

These photos are from the actual convention that we attended for just a few hours on Saturday. I didn’t sign at our booth due to my ill dog but lucky me got to pay for part of our booth anyway. That’s what happens when you own your own production company, whether you are there or not you get the bill, can’t complain I got motorboated : )

This is the “All Girl Gang” before we got in our limo to attend the awards after my Kelly Madison Media team did their magic on me:

And here is a shot of me on the red carpet.

I, of course had to search out my long lost bestie Puma Swede on the red carpet and luckily ran into Fat Mike as well from NOFX and his hot as hell girlfriend (wife?) and their very charming and diminutive slave.

After the awards we had our driver hit Taco Bell where I tore my constricting corset top off while in the car and paid for our food topless. Those photos will be in my BTS section for January. You’ll have to wait for those, sorry.

Then it was home the next morning at the crack-o-dawn to take care of my little guy. He’s just so damn cute. Yes, that is the radiation burn that I am nursing on him and it isn’t pretty. Hide your eyes you have a queasy tummy.

Whoa stomach, right? Tell me about it, this is a month after the radiation treatment ceased. Thank god I have him on pain meds.

After that nastiness, I had to give you something hopefully better to look at, this a photo from last week’s episode called “Gymboobie”, actually I was just trying to get in shape for AVN:

I was so excited to see my husband when I got home. It was fun with the girls but “doing the nasty” with him when I came home was a nice homecoming to say the least. Thanks for being patient on my blog updates. Sometimes I just think my life is too boring to pour it all out on the Internet. I forget that is my job. I am a child, so to speak, of the Internet. I wouldn’t have the wonderful life I have without people out there that are actually interested in little ‘ol me so thanks everybody. Kisses!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Thursday, January 3rd, 2013

(OMG my dogs look miserable and this was the best pic!, btw, trey isn’t fat, that is a fuzzy beard attached to his hat)

To say I’ve been busy is an understatement. The holidays were sort of nothing but work work work and more work. Saturday the 22nd we had our work party and ironically, that wasn’t any work at all, it was a Blast! We a DJ and a beautiful dinner and open bar (the drinkers all had designated drivers or cabs) and we played the money wheel game and gave away thousands of dollars to our employees and their significant others. We also had an ugly Christmas sweater contest, Laura won with her Mrs. Santa with a secret under her skirt – a big cock that is! She won the $100 prize. Next year I think we’ll have more participants knowing there is a cash prize. I had so much I can barely remember the details : )

The day after the work party was my husband’s extended family’s party with 9 children all under the age of 10. We brought gifts for all of them and did an exchange gift game between the men and then between the women. Fun but exhausting having 2 parties in a row.

The next day was Christmas eve and I drove my baby down to Carlsbad for his radiation treatment. I then drove home in tons of traffic, finished wrapping gifts, handed out gifts to my neighbors and got dressed up and went to dinner in Seal Beach and had another gift exchange party afterwards with Ryan’s parent’s best friends and Ryan’s cousin’s family. Then drove home late only to find my 2 parakeets dead. Lovely evening…

I stayed up wrapping and packing and burying and finally went to bed around 2AM. I then awoke to get my sister who had been staying with me since the 22nd to doggy sit while I was painting the town red all those evenings. I got her packed into my truck along with her dog and sent them down to Carlsbad to visit my niece and be there with her and her son while he opened up his gifts. This was his 2nd Christmas but last year he was just an infant. So much more fun when they can open their own gifts!

I then finished packing my husband up to go to his parents and packed myself and Trey and Tommy and headed down to Carlsbad for Trey’s radiation appointment, yes, I know, can you believe they were open on Christmas day? I took Tommy and checked into our beachfront hotel and met up with my sister and Tommy’s brother Beau and took the hounds for a walk along the beach. Absolutely beautiful sunset. I then left to pick up Trey and settled all 3 dogs in for the evening and drove about 15 minutes over to see my niece and meet up with my other sister. So it was the 3 yayas as we call ourselves for Christmas evening. We all 3 went back to our hotel and chilled out with some wine and some relax time.

I then awoke and packed and took Trey for radiation and then me and my sister Cheryl met with our future business partner on a new venture I am doing. As if I have time : O

The meeting went well, we packed up and I got Trey and headed home. It is all a bit of a blur after that. I finished up Trey’s last radiation appointment on Friday the 29th. All I know is that I haven’t stopped and I ended up getting sick. It was sort of expected. I spent the weekend sick but I really didn’t slow down. I had Ryan’s parents over on the 31st and then after they left I did a shoot for Hey, the show must go on. I’m going to take it easy this weekend and just spend it taking care of Trey. His radiation burn is huge and oozing. My flu is raging and I need to just take one day at a time right now.

Happy New Year to you all and wish you all the best. Stay healthy in this nasty flu season and please pray for my baby Trey and that is cancer is gone. He got the cutest bandana on his graduation day that says “Hug me, I’m a cancer survivor”. It made me cry.

Christmas Cougars, radiation therapy, birthday promises…

Thursday, December 20th, 2012

I’m giving you lots of Christmas Coochie so far this December. I started off the month on with a Christmas Cougar attack

and recently introduced you to a very Kinky Kris Kringle. I must say Santa really has a nice cock. Never know what’s hiding under a big belly!

Last week I gave you a Bloody Xmas on and more is to come.

On a sad note, my dog Trey started radiation therapy for his cancer 2 weeks ago and it isn’t going well. His radiation burns are severe and spending 5 hours a day driving him back and forth is taking a toll on me, on him and my business and my patience. We are over half-way through and it just gets tougher and tougher. I like to think of him like this as he was last year when we went to the Grand Canyon.

Speaking of last year, Ryan and I attended the Arizona football game for his 35th birthday. Unfortunately with our dog being ill and our schedules being beyond crazy we were unable to attend a pro-football game this year. We usually pick a team and a city and go and visit and root for the home team and Ryan buys the hometeam’s quarterback’s jersey and we just get a taste of somewhere new. We have been doing this for a few years and really enjoy it. This year my husband turned 36 and no game : (
I’ll have to make it up to him next year!

Here he is at the Grand Canyon last year on our road trip on our way down to the Arizona Stadium. I need to take him somewhere really good next year, any ideas? We’ve been to Minnesota, Dallas, San Diego, Arizona and were planning on taking the dogs and going to San Fransisco this year but had to cancel last minute. I like the idea of New Orleans, that would be fun and I’ve never been to that city. Or Green Bay so I can freeze my ass off.

Turkey, dogs, and blood?

Saturday, December 1st, 2012

Yeah, one holiday down, 2 to go. Hope you had a fabulous turkey day for those of you in the U.S. I had a great day, thank you, I thought I was going to be home alone with the doggies but at the last minute I changed my mind. My boy Trey was doing awesome so I loaded up all 3 dogs and joined Ryan in attending his family’s festivities. I am so glad I went. Trey even went for a walk around the entire park after dinner.

I hope you enjoy my latest update on of the business woman gone bad. I was inspired by a recent trip to Beverly Hills. I was at Neiman Marcus while in between my two appointments there in town and had a drink with my hairdresser / stylist Carissa. There is a restaurant and bar on the 3rd floor that has the best martinis. There was a hot guy there and he was looking over at us. We kinda flirted back but I had to leave but I kept wondering about that hot guy. What if I got his number? Would I call him? Would he call me? Would I ever have an affair? Probably not ever but it was fun fantasizing that I was talking to him on the phone in my video. Got me pretty wet!

I just got home from a very exhausting day and I’m ready for a nap. Today we are shooting a crazy blood filled Xmas shoot for that turned into quite the production. I set up a large tent and hung lights, made signs, put up garland and installed bales of hay and bought 6 Christmas trees and hauled them around in my truck, created a christmas tree lot in the back of our production house, ordered special FX blood from Hollywood, repaired a chainsaw and basically worked my butt of the last few days setting up for this shoot. I had the help of Carissa and Cathy and the boys and we pulled it off. I can’t wait for you to see it. It goes up on the 21st of December.

I spent yesterday shooting of course. I was really in a bad mood for quite a while, though because things didn’t go my way, let’s just put it that way. I was totally rained out yesterday and I originally wanted to shoot my update in my brand new tree lot set that took me days to put together but the weather just wasn’t cooperating. Oh well, I had a splendid time shooting a Cougar Christmas in the warmth of my very own bedroom with the fireplace lit. Mmm, a nice big glass of red wine too!

Happy Titssgiving!

Thursday, November 22nd, 2012

I’ve got a Titsgiving photo/video set for you today to feast on. It is a delicious CUNT-ry pie just waiting to be devoured. Eat a lot of turkey today and get your stuffing on, but remember to always save room for pie!

Click here for my free thanksgiving trailer. Love you guys and enjoy your day whether it is spent with family or friends, or here with me. I’m chilling with the dogs today since my big guy Trey can’t travel. He’s doing great since his surgery and he gets his stitches out on Monday. I just don’t feel like shoving him in and out of the car with his 24 inch incision. I don’t want to bust him open like an over-baked turkey : )

And remember, today and every day there are people and children who are going hungry. There are also people suffering from hurricane Sandy that don’t have a home, or basic necessities. The Red Cross is a great place to start if you don’t already have a favorite charity. Donate what you can so when you eat your big ‘ol meal today you WON’T gain a single pound, yep that’s right, guilt free gluttony. But for those of you that don’t donate, well all I can say is Karma is a bitch!

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