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Archive for the ‘Family & Friends’ Category

OK not hating the world, God, life, or myself at the moment…

Sunday, August 24th, 2014


Well, at least not at THIS moment. Fuck I have been in the WORST mood lately. Ever since I got the call from my indiscernible sister 2 weeks ago this Tuesday that I received while she was having her seizure and she could barely speak and it scared the shit out of me, I have been so miserable. I drove out to pick her up from the hospital and I also picked up all her new MRI’s and CT scans to compare them with the PET scans done earlier in April and yep, just what I didn’t want to be true, seems the cancer has spread to her brain. Fuck fuck fuck. She has been to a new neurologist who confirmed our biggest fears and with the combine group efforts of her OBGYN oncologist and her new medical oncologist that I am taking her to this Friday, we will determine wether she is to under go radiation therapy along with a new round of chemo or just radiation. Bizzare news is that she believed my happy positive bullshit and her attitude is fantastic! She even went back to work and seems to be filled with new ambition and vigor at continuing the fight. I am so thrilled about that. I was falling apart inside but as usual I put up my tough as nails asshole motivating exterior and it paid off. I am so proud of her.

Meanwhile I’ve been a mess inside. Thank you to all of you that have sent the kindest emails and messages. I really do appreciate it and it helped me from literally not offing myself this past week. OK, maybe I’m being a bit dramatic but I have also, embarassing as it is to admit to the world, been feeling sorry for myself because I’m turning 47 on Tuesday. I know, how superficial and insignificant considering what my poor sister is going through trying to fight for her life but I have been a bit pity party-ish. I’m not even vain but getting older bums me out a little bit. Even when I was young I didn’t like to celebrate my birthday so it isn’t just an age thing, I just really don’t like the attention. As ironic as that sounds with me being an adult performer, it is true. Poor Ryan has to always put up with me being negative about my birthday and he is the kindest most romantic and thoughtful man and I have a way just squashing his efforts. I do love his ever positive attitude that “someday” I’ll enjoy celebrating my birthday.

To turn things around I shot 2 videos for my site yesterday and I approached the day with a positive outlook and I had one of the best production working days that I have had in months. I did 2 scenes and did several Polaroids for the bra and panty sets that I’ve sold recently.


I had fun, I felt good, I felt healthy and alive and things are really turning around for me in so many areas I have little to no room to be sad about anything. Even my sister’s condition isn’t dire and I’m not going to shed another tear until I have proof that her treatments aren’t working. So there! I may even celebrate my birthday, OK, maybe that’s going a bit too far. Maybe a movie and dinner with Ryan, we’ll see. I usually go to Mammoth Lakes for my birthday with the dogs and Ryan so it isn’t just about “me” but more so a family vacation for all to enjoy, but with all the medical hullabaloo going on and also I’m in the middle of selling a property rental in Texas that is problematic, I postponed my trip.

So with all that said, this should be an eventful week. Monday I should be closing on the Texas house, my birthday is on Tuesday, we have 2 shoots scheduled this week for and, I am driving out to Vegas to take my sister to the doctor on Friday, and I am having a big company pool and barbecue party on Sunday. Madness as usual here at Kelly Madison Media, hey, I wouldn’t have it any other way : )


NED!!!!!! Las Vegas adventures and baby birds

Saturday, April 19th, 2014

Yes, it is an absolute fucking miracle that my sister has officially been declared a NED, which means “no evidence of disease”! That means no cancer. She has gone from inoperable stage IV cancer to being declared free of cancer. I’ve had to take my cynical, scientific, atheistic self and open up to a possibility that there is a power greater than ourselves and whatever it may, works in an oddly mysterious way and that miraculous things can and do occur. Thank you to all those that sent me such kind wishes for her recovery. Who knows, I could find Jesus and quit porn – HA! Let’s not go that far. All my years at private Christian school was more than enough for me and I believe it is more important every day to be kind, honest, loving, good to my fellow man, and to help the poor and the sick and cherish each day as if it were a gift. Hey, I guess I’m not that big a heretic after all…

I have continued to be a busy traveler. I traveled out of state then out of the country then back home then out of state again. I just keep my bags packed at this point. I would like to make you feel sorry for me and say it was all work and no play but alas, I would be found a liar. I did successfully do 7 scenes for my site but I also went out to dinner, went dancing at a club, had loads of room service, and enjoyed more sex than what should legally be allowed.

I’m home now for a while and things are busy as usual here at Kelly Madison Media. We never replaced our programmer but he has agreed to continue to work for us part time which will allow us to FINALLY get my new Member’s section on my site up as well as a new tour and re-vamped insides for pornfidelity and teenfidelity which has all been in the works for almost 2 years. Sadly we lost a dear and valued employee who is off to pursue other endeavors, gave a promotion to another employee and hired someone who is like family to us so we’ll see what our future is going to be like. The energy feels good and even though we have recently taken a few steps back it has allowed Ryan and I to really figure out what we want and who we want to be and do, at least for the time being. Growth is great but making sure your feet are firmly planted in order to let your mind soar is an important step to the process. So right now I’m grounded, literally since I’m not going anywhere soon and I am confident in our business and those who contribute to it. Life is good.

I left a fake tree outside and a little bird thought it to be the perfect hiding place for her 4 little babies and deep inside the electrical light cords and plastic pine needles she has built a very organic little nest! The birds are all fuzzy and ugly and so damn cute. I was just about to wash the tree and put it away when I saw inside the fake tree trunk some twigs and something moving. I was just about to spray it down and heave it into the garage and would have killed them. So they are my little Easter miracle. Will miracles ever cease?


OK, how about some free porn, yeah?






What’s up pussycat?

Tuesday, March 11th, 2014


I’ve been trying to keep my chin up and stay positive. We are losing our programmer, my sister is getting really sick from the chemo combo she’s on and in our attempts at growing our company, well it seems the growing pains are getting to us! So anyone that knows ruby on rails, please email me. Seriously, I’m taking job inquiries through my blog so email me at

We have been shooting loads of content, no pun intended, and we have been having just too much fun with our whole bear cam idea. We just did our third installment for the Bear cam series on I don’t know if I had more fun buying the costuming or actually dressing the girls in the frilly dresses. Sooo fun.

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Since last I bored you with the details of my life I have gone to the mountains for a quick Valentine’s vacation, driven to Vegas twice to take care of my sister, sold 18 orders of bras and panties through my website store, check out all the polaroids I did for them,
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attended a baby shower and we’ve done 15 production shoots. Not bad for 26 days. I was supposed to leave yesterday for my sister’s chemo treatment, her last one, but got tied down here at home, don’t get excited, no bondage just domestic drudgery. I may go ahead and drive out early in the morning since she is feeling badly today. I would like to think that I am doing it all for her but I honestly like helping and it makes me feel good to be there for her. Since I have been home these last few days the guilt is getting to me. Plus, how can I just relax? No way, relaxing is for pussies!

Here I am relaxing and having fun in my photo/video sets, that’s enough relaxing for me.


Beverly Hills, chemo, new sites and various shenanigans…

Thursday, February 13th, 2014

I have been a very naughty girl and haven’t been doing any blog updates lately. Bad bad girl, I need to be tied up and spanked real hard. Now that we’ve gotten my punishment over, let me begin to say how wonderfully crazy my life has been.

Last I checked in I was about to go to Beverly Hills to shoot for and most importantly, attend an art event at the Beverly Hills Hotel. World renowned artist Richard Prince and his publishing house/art and book store named Fulton Ryder along with Harper’s Books hosted an event at the Beverly Hills Hotel on Jan 23 to release Topless Pulp Fiction, a new publication by Fulton Ryder and little ‘ol me, Kelly Madison was the guest host. This was the invite that Richard created for the event. He used an iphone image of me that Ryan had posted on Twitter while we were in Cabo. So cool.


I was so honored. My dearest friend Dian Hansen was there and since the book was about reading topless, she easily got me to take off my top and do some fun posing.


Richard couldn’t attend due to weather conditions that evening so the adorable Fabiola who manages Fulton Ryder was my play thing. We did a few photos and sent them to Richard to show him what he was missing out on!


I went back the next evening and Richard introduced me to Larry Gagosian and Mario Sorrenti, and I hate to name drop but I just want to thank Richard for always being so kind and inviting me to these events. Here I am with Richard and Mario. Look at how when I’m nervous I scrunch my nose up like a rabbit. What a dork I am!


Later that evening I dined with Richard and his friends and associates at the Polo Lounge. I had a good time showing everyone at dinner what I had worked on that day.


She not only did the standing splits in our hotel suite but she did cartwheels down Hollywood Blvd. If you don’t believe me, check out the pornfidelity trailer

Later when I got home I discovered that there were photos of me that appeared on the Purple Magazine diary standing there topless with the photographer Tim Barber. Very cool experience.

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Once home, I put my shirt back on, packed my bags and headed to Vegas to help my sister. She happens to be on 2 of the harshest chemos out there, Cisplatin and Adriamycin, aka the “Red Devil,”. It isn’t a fun experience. She has lost her hair which isn’t a big deal but her constant nausea and overall general ill health because of the drugs is really getting her down. She has recently joined a support group and I couldn’t be prouder of her. Her attitude has taken a complete 180 and she is doing so much better than a few weeks ago when I went out to take care of her.

Upon my return from Vegas we began shooting for Sandee Westgate and her man Jared. I got them to do a bridal scene. Look how cute they are.


Then last week we shot 3 scenes for Brandi Love for her upcoming site with us. We had sexy naked men parading all through our company. I shot this after her scene with Bruce Venture and Ryan happened to have just gotten out of the shower as well. See, Ryan likes being topless too!


Again, sorry for my lack of communication. I’ve been so busy doing things that I haven’t had time to do any reporting on things.

Happy Tits-giving!

Thursday, November 28th, 2013


Time passes quickly and yet again we feel the chill in the air, the crunch of the leaves beneath our feet, the smell of a large bird cooking away in the oven and it now it already upon us to celebrate Thanksgiving. I swear I was just in a red white and blue bikini celebrating the 4th but whatever! What is the deal with getting older and time going by quicker? Is there some sort of space time continuum occurring in my world which is spinning by at dramatic leaps and yet everyone else’s is static? Is this an example of quantum entanglement? OK I might be getting a bit heady but really? Why is my life going by so quickly that it is practically giving me a headache? Alright, enough of that, let’s talk turkey…

So I am the most blessed and luckiest soul because I do not have to go and buy groceries and fight the crowds. I don’t have to cut up celery into little tiny weenie pieces to make stuffing. I don’t even have to open up a can of cranberries (which happen to be my favorite I don’t care call me white trash). I get to put on some casual clothes (meaning ones that have some give if you know what I mean) and pack up my dogs and my husband and drive 40 minutes to my fabulous in-laws where they do the whole thing. We are talking a traditional turkey, tons of gluten free items for Ryan including 2 gluten free desserts, vegan dishes for his sister, Vegetarian for my mother-in-law and her mother, and some Pabs Blue Ribbon for me and Pappy. We are a strange group and my husband’s parents really go the extra mile to make everyone happy in the family. All I have to do are a few dishes and they don’t even expect that. How’s that for taking it easy on Thanksgiving? I get to sit and watch the games and drink beer – shit I might as well be a man!

I was going to drive out to be with my sister but she is going to be with her ex today and they are both going over to my other sister’s home for a quiet meal where Judi’s husband will cook a delicious cornucopia for the four of them. I will be driving out at 8:00 AM for Vegas tomorrow morning to do a quick visit with my sister and then celebrating a dear friend’s 40th birthday out on the town. Then I shall be back on the road at 8:00 AM Saturday morning to get home in time to jump into hair and make-up and shoot a scene for

So take today to connect with family and friends and allow some time for reflection. There is plenty for me to give thanks for this Thanksgiving: family, friends, good health, great food, liquor to survive family functions… The list goes on. But with that said, I am humbled and thankful for all the loving fans, the support of all of my sites and for the great employees and partners that I am blessed with and for all the good wishes from all of you for my sister and her battle with cancer. Bless you all and remember not to eat too much, it’s hard to have sex on a full belly!


Updates and such

Sunday, November 10th, 2013


I have been home for almost 2 weeks but not a moment goes by that I’m not thinking of my sister and her cancer. We found out the uterine cancer in her lungs is growing at an alarming rate so she is to start chemo immediately. I just wish she didn’t live so far away from me. The 3 hour drive to her isn’t bad at all but it sucks when I want to drive over to see her real quick or bring her dinner or take her to her appointments. Not convenient at all.

On a good note, I have been shooting since being home and I intend on shooting today. It has been so warm here that I have been doing a lot of outside stuff. I just directed a scene for a new site we are doing and we did it outside at night in the pool even. I figure we need to do our night shoots now before winter’s chill makes it hard to take off your clothes. Then again, it never is too cold for me to get naked! Here are few samples of my most recent updates. Who said you are ever to old to go outside and play with the hose?




Awards, Updates, Nursing and more…

Thursday, October 24th, 2013


Hello Everyone, reporting in live from Las Vegas where I have transformed into my alter ego, Nurse Kelly for reals this time. Usually this time of year I am dressing up as Nurse Kelly and having my way with the good Dr. but alas I am my sister’s nurse instead. She went in for removal of her uterine cancer last Wednesday and I have been by her side ever since. I will be staying with her until this coming Monday. Her surgery went well but her recovery was slow at first but now she is walking and doing great. We find out today what her chemo schedule will look like. Fingers crossed it won’t be too severe and she should be on her way to a happy healthy life!


I am happy to say I updated my site last week with a “Breast Appreciation” episode. Number 8 went up last Friday and to my surprise, it was almost 3 years since my last one! I would have bet you a million bucks I did some last year but no, it has been way too long. I am definitely bringing back those kind of shoots for 2014 which is just around the corner. Really, where the hell has this year gone? 2013 only has a few months left to it. How can that be? It was just 4th of July last week, I swear. Above is a sample of the “Appreciciation #8” video/photo shoot and below is a photo from “Miami Bitch” the week prior. Both are slow and sensual breast accentuating videos involving lotion and toys and slow motion action. These were made for my breast lovers out there. It can’t be all about the cock worship ALL the time…


I have been so wonderfully blessed by this industry lately. I got to present at the Sex Awards as I mentioned in my prior postings and I was blessed that I along with my company had several nominations. I really enjoyed myself that night. I was able to see the girls in the industry that I just adore like Bonnie Rotten and Alexis Texas and Allison Moore who I presented with and Sandee Westgate and her sexy man Jared. I was with my “crew” that night and Brandi Love was my hot date and it was a long needed wonderful girls night out. I started off in a long Halston navy dress for the presenting and then afterwards I changed into a little gold dress and thank god I did because everyone was stepping on my long dress and I just couldn’t take it any longer. Plus it was more fun to move around in and get nasty.


We stayed at the Roosevelt and stayed up way past our bedtimes that evening, poor Brandi never did get any sleep and she was out the door by 4:00AM and on a plane for Florida to attend the Nightmoves show. Surprisingly, I won for “Best Boobs” at that Nightmoves awards show, I should have gotten on the plane with Brandi to accept it in person. Next time! Thank you to AVN and X3sixty for allowing me to be a part of the Sex Awards and thank you so much Nightmoves and all that voted for me granting me my big win. Woo hoo!

IMG_1142 Photo I sent to Ryan the other night from inside my sister’s bathroom.

I like sexting my husband.

Getting older but not acting like it!

Sunday, September 15th, 2013

My birthday has come and gone and even though I turned 46 I just don’t feel it. I have been on the go for so long and I just don’t feel like slowing down one single bit. What a traveler I’ve been lately. We went to Mammoth on my birthday weekend, Vegas the next weekend to visit my sisters over the Labor Day holiday and last weekend I went down to Coronado Bay and saw Dave Matthew’s Band in concert and then hung out at the hotel with Ryan and the doggies for a much needed rest. I have so much to catch up on with you about. I buried my doggy while up in Mammoth.
Ryan made him a gravestone and we buried his ashes in his favorite meadow. Here is his eternal view, not bad, huh?


Not all was depressing in the Mountains, I also had a lot of fun with Ryan and the dogs and did a few video shoots and went hiking and got a massage at the spa and almost got eaten by a bear. OK, maybe he didn’t want to eat me but he did want to eat the fish that Ryan caught that he was barbecuing on the grill : )

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Can you tell we had a similar theme for the 2 shoots, Naked Breasts!


By the way if you are a Dave Matthews Band fan seeing them live in concert is absolutely amazing. That was the best birthday gift ever, thank you honey! Ryan and our 2 dogs chilled at down at Coronado Bay and watched the boats sail by and relaxed by the pool and took the dogs on a bunch of long walks and ordered room service and made love. Not a bad way to spend 3 days.

Everything is going really well business wise and I’m super excited about the future. I have so much more to tell you but I have to get back to shooting. Here is a sample of what I’m doing today…


Yep, more boobies!

Radio, Steampunk, Sin City and Porn Site

Saturday, June 8th, 2013

Hey guys, I was llive on the this week. It was really fun. Of course I was stuck at the vet with the dog on Tuesday so I had to call in from the car, I really wanted to call in from home so I could be naked! Oh well, next time maybe…

I just put on my newest video entitled “Off the Rails”. It is a steampunk style video and Ryan plays the evil Victor Van Madison and trust, me he is off the rails. While filming down at the train tracks I dared him to jump on a fast moving train and he fucking did it! He jumped on the train and rode it quite a ways and then finally jumped off. The train was going pretty fast so I thought I might have to drive to the next county or state to pick him up once the train slowed down but the crazy guy jumped back off. The video turned out great and Ryan is alive to shoot yet another scene!

I’m on my way to Las Vegas for my sister’s surprise birthday party. I packed up my sick dogs and all their shit and I’m off. I swear I have more medicine and special dog food and dog beds and crap jammed in my car. Meanwhile I have one tiny little bag. I am so low maintenance, my dogs on the other hand, are, uh, a handful!

I have been slaving away on my website. I have gone through over 600 episodes to organize and re-master the videos in order to finish my new member’s section. I have over 950 updates on my website to go through. Each photo and story and video all has to be organized and re-numbered and in a lot of cases re-edited to a newer format so it is just taking forever! I promise it will be done soon. I am so sick of looking at myself I could gouge my eyes out. I just still can’t get over how much bigger my breasts have gotten since I started my website back in 2000. Crazy.

Well, I’m outta here. Kisses to all and to all a great weekend!

AVN, Dog Drama, and doing the nasty…

Saturday, February 2nd, 2013

Wow, I really suck. I have not even shared a single photo from AVN with you guys as of yet. OK, I’ll quit being a LAZY ass and get these posted. First, let me say that going to Vegas with just the girls was the BEST idea I ever had. My girls are easy as fuck to hang with. So much fun, no drama, no having to wait on the dudes or having to behave while in Vegas. Yeah baby.

As I said, myy girls are awesome and they drove in to Vegas late Friday night while I was shooting porn. Mama’s got to work. I got on a plane early Saturday morning and ran into one of the guys from We Fresh Mints on my plane that had made a rap a few years ago for our porfidelity site. If you haven’t heard it, it is awesome. He said that he and his partner have a new rap for me, I’m dying to hear it. We hung out at the airport pick-up area both waiting for our rides. I loved meeting him in person.

These photos are from the actual convention that we attended for just a few hours on Saturday. I didn’t sign at our booth due to my ill dog but lucky me got to pay for part of our booth anyway. That’s what happens when you own your own production company, whether you are there or not you get the bill, can’t complain I got motorboated : )

This is the “All Girl Gang” before we got in our limo to attend the awards after my Kelly Madison Media team did their magic on me:

And here is a shot of me on the red carpet.

I, of course had to search out my long lost bestie Puma Swede on the red carpet and luckily ran into Fat Mike as well from NOFX and his hot as hell girlfriend (wife?) and their very charming and diminutive slave.

After the awards we had our driver hit Taco Bell where I tore my constricting corset top off while in the car and paid for our food topless. Those photos will be in my BTS section for January. You’ll have to wait for those, sorry.

Then it was home the next morning at the crack-o-dawn to take care of my little guy. He’s just so damn cute. Yes, that is the radiation burn that I am nursing on him and it isn’t pretty. Hide your eyes you have a queasy tummy.

Whoa stomach, right? Tell me about it, this is a month after the radiation treatment ceased. Thank god I have him on pain meds.

After that nastiness, I had to give you something hopefully better to look at, this a photo from last week’s episode called “Gymboobie”, actually I was just trying to get in shape for AVN:

I was so excited to see my husband when I got home. It was fun with the girls but “doing the nasty” with him when I came home was a nice homecoming to say the least. Thanks for being patient on my blog updates. Sometimes I just think my life is too boring to pour it all out on the Internet. I forget that is my job. I am a child, so to speak, of the Internet. I wouldn’t have the wonderful life I have without people out there that are actually interested in little ‘ol me so thanks everybody. Kisses!

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